The Dance Club

      “We’re going to the opening of a new dance club.”

I had just come out of the shower in the afternoon when I got a call from one of my friends.

“Come with us. It should be really good. There’s free alcohol, good music, pretty girls, and pills aplenty!

“Who’s going?” I asked.

“Everyone.”

“Alright. Pick me up before you go.”

I hung up and pondered for a few seconds if I really wanted to go.

Again I had nothing better to do and so decided I could use an outing.

I went back into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror.

I checked out my body and realized that I gained some fat on my belly.

I made funny faces. I also did poses and different facial expressions. I even danced very strangely, unlike anything I’d do if there were another soul in the room.

 People tend to do that.

 The lack of restrictions felt good.

Velo came to mind

I shut the thought away.

All this talk of freedom seems like a life shattering crossroad and an immense responsibility and I don’t want to mess up the semblance of a normal life that I’ve been working so hard to achieve.

School. College. Family. Friends. Country. Money. House. Car. Vacation. Security.

I have most of these and I’m on my way to having the rest.

I am free the way I am without having to dive into unknown life mysteries and without having to think too much about free will and desire and all that complicated junk.

The world out there is doing the thinking for me and I’m getting by just fine this way.

 “I am free.” I said out loud as an affirmation to reassure myself.

Besides, even if I decided to look more into the matter, I didn’t know where to go from here.

The phone call had given me something to look forward to that day and I wasn’t going to start getting all philosophical and waste my time thinking and contemplating.

        “I am free.” I repeated.

        “I am free.”

But I knew in my depths that I wasn’t.

I knew that something was missing. I knew that none of the things that I had been working so hard to acquire were really satisfying. I knew that something inside me was empty, and I knew that Velo was stirring that emptiness. I knew that sooner or later the day would come when I would have to face myself.

I knew, however, that today was not that day.

Today I would go to the club and I would enjoy myself.  

I went back into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror.

I checked out my body and realized that I gained some fat on my belly.

I made funny faces. I also did poses and different facial expressions. I even danced very strangely, unlike anything I’d do if there were another soul in the room.

 People tend to do that.

 The lack of restrictions felt good.

Velo came to mind

I shut the thought away.

All this talk of freedom seems like a life shattering crossroad and an immense responsibility and I don’t want to mess up the semblance of a normal life that I’ve been working so hard to achieve.

School. College. Family. Friends. Country. Money. House. Car. Vacation. Security.

I have most of these and I’m on my way to having the rest.

I am free the way I am without having to dive into unknown life mysteries and without having to think too much about free will and desire and all that complicated junk.

The world out there is doing the thinking for me and I’m getting by just fine this way.

 “I am free.” I said out loud as an affirmation to reassure myself.

Besides, even if I decided to look more into the matter, I didn’t know where to go from here.

The phone call had given me something to look forward to that day and I wasn’t going to start getting all philosophical and waste my time thinking and contemplating.

        “I am free.” I repeated.

        “I am free.”

But I knew in my depths that I wasn’t.

I knew that something was missing. I knew that none of the things that I had been working so hard to acquire were really satisfying. I knew that something inside me was empty, and I knew that Velo was stirring that emptiness. I knew that sooner or later the day would come when I would have to face myself.

I knew, however, that today was not that day.

Today I would go to the club and I would enjoy myself.  

My friend picked me up at eleven and we headed straight to the club.

 We stood in the entrance queue for about fifteen minutes and as we entered through the door, we entered into another world.

The blue ceiling spiraled up and inwards like a space portal. Loud banging music instantly deafened my ears and drowned any other noises. Black lights turned everything white into fluorescent blue and everything else into shades of black

People were flooding the dance floor like insects, as acrobats and green lasers hovered above their heads.

As always, I put on my social mask, my cool indifferent smile, and my party attitude.

I walked slowly and acted very confident, like I was a smooth character from a movie. I looked around and nodded my head to anyone I knew, and shook hands or gave a superficial hug to anyone I knew better.

We walked across the club and took off our coats as we sat at our reserved table.

We were a group of seven. Four guys and three girls.

There are always more guys than girls.

Everyone ordered drinks except me. I don’t drink.

Not anymore anyway.

I have drinking and drug problems and have gone though a lot of therapy to recover.

I am able to enjoy myself now without having to unleash my addictive beast.

The DJ was good and the thundering music was overwhelming.

We sat and talked about this and that, tapping our feet to the music, and occasionally dancing next to our table. We didn’t like going too far into the dance floor because it got very stuffy and no matter how hard you tried; some sweaty pervert was bound to brush up against you.

I knew two of the girls with us and chit chatted about unimportant stuff with both of them. I could easily see both their cleavages, given the fact that this was their deliberate intention.

Can’t complain.

They had the perfect amount of skin showing. I find it more erotic when not enough is revealed. Less exposure triggers the imagination more. Desire becomes more intense when there’s more to explore.

For a moment I thought about the ‘Thong Phenomenon’.

Same thing. Too much exposure, too little for the imagination.

The mystery is more intriguing.

The mystery.

Velo.

I was getting irritated at how the thought of Velo was now associating itself with so many things. Freedom, dreams, excitement, mystery.

I shut out the annoying thought again.

Back to females.

I’d always been more intrigued by women than men. I’ve always enjoyed their company more.

I find them more interesting because I am not one myself. They are softer, sweeter, and more sensual.

I sometimes get the feeling that Woman is the evolution of Man; that further down the chain Man would evolve into Woman. If Darwin was right, and Man evolved from ape -or monkey or whatever- then Woman must’ve evolved from Man.

That, of course, providing they hadn’t transformed into evil, vindictive, jealous gold-diggers, in which case I feel endlessly grateful for having not been born one.

 

I left my mind and went back to staring at the girls’ bare breasts.